So Halloween is over. Sad face.
Luckily it was one of the most jam-packed Halloween seasons I've ever had, so I certainly took advantage of it while it lasted.
I previously posted reviews of a couple corn mazes and a couple haunted houses. Here's my list of reviews for everything else I did (still trying to make it to Fear Factory):
1. Provo River Halloween Cruise: Cute but short
With Halloween lights strung across the river and hundreds (or maybe one hundred) jack o' lanters, this cruise is pretty much one of the cutest, most classic Halloween things I did all year. You sit on a barge and make a little round-trip cruise on a very calm part of the river. I thought I spotted a unicorn jack o' lantern, but it was really Batman (so disappointing). It's cute, they sell hot chocolate and scones and taco hot dogs (which I did not eat) to keep you warm while you take the cruise, and your boat gets attacked by a pirate in a canoe (I'm sure they had canoes) who tells some fantastic jokes. Example:
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: You might think it's R (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!), but it's really P. It looks like an R but only has one leg.
and
Q: Why are pirates so mean?
A: They just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!
I'm easily entertained by pirate jokes, clearly. The only down side was that the cruise was pretty short and the majority of it was listening to a sales pitch for the place doing the cruises. You eventually get to hear a scary story, which is a recited poem delivered with as little inflection as possible. But it's worth seeing all the lights and jack o' lanterns, which are carved out of real pumpkins, awesomely.
Oh, and Provo is the worst place in the world and pretty much every single street is under construction or blocked by a train. That's not the Halloween cruise people's fault though.
2. Anguish Asylum: 0 stars. Negative stars, if that's possible
This is honestly the worst haunted house I have ever been to. I feel bad saying that, bc I think it's family run. But really, it was awful. Here are the reasons why:
-It's in the parking garage of a mall. I won't hold that against them, because resourceful, but there was A LOT of light leakage and and it was freezing cold.
-It was super short with very few actors. The majority of the rooms didn't have any scares.
-Their last ride (which costs $4 extra and I didn't do it) is a burial simulator with a camera inside. So everyone can watch you. Pay $4 for my friends to watch me bored in a coffin? No thanks.
-They claim they're better than Nightmare on 13th. News flash: you're not. The ticket booth at Nightmare on 13th is scarier than your entire haunted house.
-There was a maggot-faced zombie with SERIOUS anger issues who started going off about missionaries and Mormons. Tell me why a zombie in a haunted mansion-themed room has a "Dear John" letter and needs to beat up every Mormon with a bloody baseball bat, because it made no sense to me. I think the guy was honestly supposed to do something different and was just taking out his own issues on paying customers, which was totally supported by his getting genuinely angry when we didn't play along and calling a member of our group a slur that also refers to a cigarette if you're British, or a bundle of sticks if you're a 17th century peasant.
There were a couple good-ish parts, though the bad outweighed them. They were:
-A room full of blood-filled IV bags hanging from the ceiling that you have to find your way through.
-The fact that the chainsaw guy had nothing better to do, so he decided to chase a conveniently hysterical girl in our group out of the haunted house and through a large portion of the parking lot. Well done, sir.
Okay, enough with the suckfest and on to a literal suckfest:
3. Ballet West's Dracula: BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO MY LIFE
Seriously, this was my favorite thing I went to for Halloween, and I actually went twice. I feel bad for anyone who missed it (though rumor has it that they bought the rights for 6 years and will be doing it each year for at least that long). I have no desire to ever see Thriller again as long as Dracula is around. Maybe I'll do a separate post about what made Dracula so amazing, but for now, here are the highlights:
-The vampire women who had matching powdered wigs, amazing zombie arms and were frequently laying face-down on the floor.
-Everything about Dracula, especially his cape.
-A carriage that billows fog from inside.
-Burning vampires.
-An incredibly graphic (for ballet) neck biting scene in which Dracula throws a girl on the floor, stradles her and violently bites her neck as she kicks and twitches. Then the vampire women come in and tear what's left of her to pieces. EEEEEEEEEEEE!
-When that same girl returns as a vampire. Genious.
Okay, I'll stop now, bc I could go on and on and on and on and on.
4. Haunted Village at This is the Place: My favorite haunt
It wasn't as good as last year, but the fact that was compeltely different from last year was awesome. You won't get stuck seeing the same stuff year after year with this one. Highlights include:
-A very, very scary staircase.
-Something under the bed.
-Really for real haunted buildings (I've heard EVPs from that place. Serious stuff, peeps. Serious stuff.)
I also put on my own haunted house in my basement, which people told me was better than Nightmare on 13th (hahahahaa, zing!). Not really. BUT, I did do some crawling around in a Ring wig, and my friends made very convincing psychopaths. I wish I had taken pictures or a video. Maybe I'll talk about that more later too.
And review of Fear Factory to come when I actually go!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Halloweeeeeeenie!
I can't believe that I'm right here, right smack in the middle of my favorite time of year (being fall, October,a nd most of all, Halloween season) and I haven't said ONE WORD about it on my blog. Granted, I haven't been doing a ton of blog writing lately, but usually I would have had like 10 Halloween posts up by now. But anyway, here is this one!
I've done this for the past few years, and am attempting it again this year: to do something Halloweenie every single day in October. Sometimes that means watching a scary movie, listening to Halloween music or going to a haunted house, and sometimes it just means eating massive amounts of Halloween candy. Most of what I've done this year falls in that last category, but I have gone to quite a few haunts and other Halloweenie activity locations around Salt Lake this year, and here are my thoughts/reviews/spoilers about each:
#1: Nighmare on 13th. My rating: Three stars (out of four or five, whatever you want. Probably five though).
Okay, I've actually been to this one twice, and I'm glad I went back the second time. Based on my first visit, I was ready to categorize this under super boring and not worth the money. However, I realized that my first trip was extremely early in the season, and they just didn't have everything ready and polished. Definitely better the second time around.
*SPOILER ALERT* (Though I'll try and be vague enough not to really spoiler TOO much)
Highlights:
1. The animatronic Balrog thingy is back above the front door. It was replaced for a couple years by a headless horseman, which was also cool, but not quite as cool/menacing/loud/big as the Balrog guy.
2. New zombie moment in the Nightmare Theater (at my first visit, it was just an animation of a zombie getting shot in the head (which I HATE, bc I hate gore, especially when it has to do with heads), but now involves zombies supposedly breaking in, and it's actually quite good).
3. Possible Invasion of the Body Snatchers themed room, but it may be something else. Either way, it involves people in pod thingies and is FANTASTIC.
4. Midget zombies.
5. Free bounceback days (which is how I ended up going the second time).
6. The scary dentist room actually had that horrible drilled tooth dust smell. I don't know how they recreated that, but well done!
Lowlights:
1. Lines. Good crap does this place have lines! A line outside, which leads to a line inside, which leads to yet another line inside.
2. MOST LACKLUSTER CHAINSAW GUY EVER! "Oh, I'll just stand here and rev it a couple times. No need to chase anyone." SNORE.
3. I miss the Nightmare Before Christmas room. So much.
4. Gore, gore, gore, gore, gore. I hate gore. It's not scary, it's just gross.
5. The supposed 'Night of the Dead' zombie zone was just the same rooms they've had each year but with a few zombie signs on the walls.
#2 Cornbelly's Corn Maze. My rating: Meh
Well, it's huge and the maze this year is NASA approved, but really, I think I'm done with this one. I'll explain in my rants below:
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights
1. It's big and there are plenty of additional activities so you could spend the whole evening there if you're into that sort of thing
Lowlights:
1. Corn mazes are only fun to a point. After three hours, I start to feel like this lady.
2. It has a very the Walmart of corn mazes feeling. Like this is only one of about 8 million in the U.S. and I don't really want to go to any of them. (I think it actually is the only one, but the fact that it feels like a big corporation makes it that much worse.)
3. The hot chocolte is $6, or something like that. I don't actually know, but I feel like it would be.
4. Too many lights. It's supposed to be dark and scary
5. Too crowded. The end.
#3 Crazy Corn Maze. My rating: 5 stars if you're not comparing it to anything!
Is it small? Yes. Could I build a more professional-looking haunted maze out of stuff I found under my bed? Probably. But that's the charm. I feel like this place is small and family run, and that makes it quaint and exactly why I like it.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights:
1. Haunted maze available, but not necissary and in the same vacinity as the actual maze (unlike some other corn mazes that I won't coughCORNBELLY'Scough mention).
2. I don't even know how many chainsaw guys there were, but sometimes there was more than one, sometimes you ran down a path just to realize you're going in a circle and headed straight back towards the chainsaw guy you were JUST running from). Really, so many chainsaws. Brilliant.
3. We were the last ones to go through for the night, so as we passed each chainsaw guy/other scary character, they would just start following us through at the perfect distance for creepy lurking (lurking, in my opinion, is totally underrated in most haunted houses. More on that later).
4. THERE REALLY WAS SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE!
5. Candy prizes when you make it through the maze alive.
6. Cute, quint, and just the right amount of scary.
Lowlights:
1. Getting pushed to the ground. Seriously.
2. Um, there are no other lowlights.
#3 Strangling Brothers Haunted Circus. My rating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Okay, so I never got the clowns are scary thing. While I still don't believe that clowns are innately scary, these clowns were pretty good, and they made me realize the genious of clowns in a haunted house: scary AND funny. I like both of those.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights:
1. Zoltar-esque machine. Don't trust it.
2. The train. THE TRAIN! A very, very good finale.
3. The majority of the haunt is actually in the trailers of semi trucks. Genious, if you ask me.
4. Bars + strobe light + super reflective plexiglass + something over your head + just when you thought you were safe, HANDS!
5. A little bit of humor
6. Open graves
7. Extremely good actors
8. Some seriously creepy lurking (I told you!), especially at the end of those spinny tunnel things that every haunted house has that I hate.
9. *FOR REALS SPOILER ALERT* You think it's animatronic, but then the body detaches and chases you!
10. Some animatronics that really look real and some actors that really look animatronic.
11. The hallway of doors, even on the ceiling! P.S. There's something behind most, if not all of them.
12. I was legitimately second guessing my decision to go for the first little bit. Maybe it's just bc I had never been there or heard anything about it, and I had no idea what to expect.
Lowlights:
1. An animatronic obese person with fake poo and fart noises. Not scary, just gross and extremely poor taste.
2 No chainsaw guys, though really, I don't know if I could handle a chainsaw guy on top of everything else that was going on in there.
3. Less sideshow stuff than advertised. Pig guy from the website was nowhere to be seen (but I'm kind of grateful for that, actually).
So that's it! That's what I've done so far, and here's what's on my definite list of things yet to come:
Haunted Village at This is the Place, Dracula at Ballet West
And my list of things I'm hoping are yet to come:
Fear Factory, Thriller, SLC ghost tour
I'll try and post more reviews as I go to more things.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! It's really the best, guys. It really is.
I've done this for the past few years, and am attempting it again this year: to do something Halloweenie every single day in October. Sometimes that means watching a scary movie, listening to Halloween music or going to a haunted house, and sometimes it just means eating massive amounts of Halloween candy. Most of what I've done this year falls in that last category, but I have gone to quite a few haunts and other Halloweenie activity locations around Salt Lake this year, and here are my thoughts/reviews/spoilers about each:
#1: Nighmare on 13th. My rating: Three stars (out of four or five, whatever you want. Probably five though).
Okay, I've actually been to this one twice, and I'm glad I went back the second time. Based on my first visit, I was ready to categorize this under super boring and not worth the money. However, I realized that my first trip was extremely early in the season, and they just didn't have everything ready and polished. Definitely better the second time around.
*SPOILER ALERT* (Though I'll try and be vague enough not to really spoiler TOO much)
Highlights:
1. The animatronic Balrog thingy is back above the front door. It was replaced for a couple years by a headless horseman, which was also cool, but not quite as cool/menacing/loud/big as the Balrog guy.
2. New zombie moment in the Nightmare Theater (at my first visit, it was just an animation of a zombie getting shot in the head (which I HATE, bc I hate gore, especially when it has to do with heads), but now involves zombies supposedly breaking in, and it's actually quite good).
3. Possible Invasion of the Body Snatchers themed room, but it may be something else. Either way, it involves people in pod thingies and is FANTASTIC.
4. Midget zombies.
5. Free bounceback days (which is how I ended up going the second time).
6. The scary dentist room actually had that horrible drilled tooth dust smell. I don't know how they recreated that, but well done!
Lowlights:
1. Lines. Good crap does this place have lines! A line outside, which leads to a line inside, which leads to yet another line inside.
2. MOST LACKLUSTER CHAINSAW GUY EVER! "Oh, I'll just stand here and rev it a couple times. No need to chase anyone." SNORE.
3. I miss the Nightmare Before Christmas room. So much.
4. Gore, gore, gore, gore, gore. I hate gore. It's not scary, it's just gross.
5. The supposed 'Night of the Dead' zombie zone was just the same rooms they've had each year but with a few zombie signs on the walls.
#2 Cornbelly's Corn Maze. My rating: Meh
Well, it's huge and the maze this year is NASA approved, but really, I think I'm done with this one. I'll explain in my rants below:
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights
1. It's big and there are plenty of additional activities so you could spend the whole evening there if you're into that sort of thing
Lowlights:
1. Corn mazes are only fun to a point. After three hours, I start to feel like this lady.
2. It has a very the Walmart of corn mazes feeling. Like this is only one of about 8 million in the U.S. and I don't really want to go to any of them. (I think it actually is the only one, but the fact that it feels like a big corporation makes it that much worse.)
3. The hot chocolte is $6, or something like that. I don't actually know, but I feel like it would be.
4. Too many lights. It's supposed to be dark and scary
5. Too crowded. The end.
#3 Crazy Corn Maze. My rating: 5 stars if you're not comparing it to anything!
Is it small? Yes. Could I build a more professional-looking haunted maze out of stuff I found under my bed? Probably. But that's the charm. I feel like this place is small and family run, and that makes it quaint and exactly why I like it.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights:
1. Haunted maze available, but not necissary and in the same vacinity as the actual maze (unlike some other corn mazes that I won't coughCORNBELLY'Scough mention).
2. I don't even know how many chainsaw guys there were, but sometimes there was more than one, sometimes you ran down a path just to realize you're going in a circle and headed straight back towards the chainsaw guy you were JUST running from). Really, so many chainsaws. Brilliant.
3. We were the last ones to go through for the night, so as we passed each chainsaw guy/other scary character, they would just start following us through at the perfect distance for creepy lurking (lurking, in my opinion, is totally underrated in most haunted houses. More on that later).
4. THERE REALLY WAS SOMETHING IN THE FRIDGE!
5. Candy prizes when you make it through the maze alive.
6. Cute, quint, and just the right amount of scary.
Lowlights:
1. Getting pushed to the ground. Seriously.
2. Um, there are no other lowlights.
#3 Strangling Brothers Haunted Circus. My rating: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Okay, so I never got the clowns are scary thing. While I still don't believe that clowns are innately scary, these clowns were pretty good, and they made me realize the genious of clowns in a haunted house: scary AND funny. I like both of those.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Highlights:
1. Zoltar-esque machine. Don't trust it.
2. The train. THE TRAIN! A very, very good finale.
3. The majority of the haunt is actually in the trailers of semi trucks. Genious, if you ask me.
4. Bars + strobe light + super reflective plexiglass + something over your head + just when you thought you were safe, HANDS!
5. A little bit of humor
6. Open graves
7. Extremely good actors
8. Some seriously creepy lurking (I told you!), especially at the end of those spinny tunnel things that every haunted house has that I hate.
9. *FOR REALS SPOILER ALERT* You think it's animatronic, but then the body detaches and chases you!
10. Some animatronics that really look real and some actors that really look animatronic.
11. The hallway of doors, even on the ceiling! P.S. There's something behind most, if not all of them.
12. I was legitimately second guessing my decision to go for the first little bit. Maybe it's just bc I had never been there or heard anything about it, and I had no idea what to expect.
Lowlights:
1. An animatronic obese person with fake poo and fart noises. Not scary, just gross and extremely poor taste.
2 No chainsaw guys, though really, I don't know if I could handle a chainsaw guy on top of everything else that was going on in there.
3. Less sideshow stuff than advertised. Pig guy from the website was nowhere to be seen (but I'm kind of grateful for that, actually).
So that's it! That's what I've done so far, and here's what's on my definite list of things yet to come:
Haunted Village at This is the Place, Dracula at Ballet West
And my list of things I'm hoping are yet to come:
Fear Factory, Thriller, SLC ghost tour
I'll try and post more reviews as I go to more things.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! It's really the best, guys. It really is.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
It's Official
There have been a lot of things for the Red Rockettes to celebrate lately:
Our 122-77 win over the Happy Valley Derby Darlings.
Our 1 year anniversary, which is also my one year anniversary as a rollergirl. That's right, whether it shows or not (probably not), I have been Rockette since the very beginning.
And now, oh glorious day, our first batch of Red Rockette names have been approved by the almighty derby name approving powers on twoevils:
I am now officially Disco Pony!!!
And look at all those other Rockettes who's names are registered now too!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And what am I doing to celebrate? Well, I bought a new gold leotard!
Our 122-77 win over the Happy Valley Derby Darlings.
Our 1 year anniversary, which is also my one year anniversary as a rollergirl. That's right, whether it shows or not (probably not), I have been Rockette since the very beginning.
And now, oh glorious day, our first batch of Red Rockette names have been approved by the almighty derby name approving powers on twoevils:
I am now officially Disco Pony!!!
And look at all those other Rockettes who's names are registered now too!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And what am I doing to celebrate? Well, I bought a new gold leotard!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Not The Only Disco Pony in Town
It's true. I thought I was so clever, so original when I came up with Disco Pony as my derby name. No one will ever come up with that same name. Granted, no other derby girl has dared touch it as far as I know (and so help me if they do), but apparently some British clothing company has.
LUCKY thing for them that they appear to specialize in sequins, otherwise I would be furious. FURIOUS. And unable to sleep until I destroy them and their name stealing ways.
Okay, I admit it, I'm a little bit obsessed. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS DRESS?
Plus, their whole 70s-sequins-meets-Urban-Outfitters look is pretty much my entire life rolled into one sparkly, sparkly dress (and a matching sparkly cardigan).
It seems, perhaps, that Disco Pony was made for Disco Pony (or at least will be when they start carrying gold leotards).
Now that my rage has subsided and the sequins have won me over, I need to figure out how to get my hands on some Disco Pony. Think they'll give me a free dress if I tell them Disco Pony is my derby name?
LUCKY thing for them that they appear to specialize in sequins, otherwise I would be furious. FURIOUS. And unable to sleep until I destroy them and their name stealing ways.
Okay, I admit it, I'm a little bit obsessed. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS DRESS?
Plus, their whole 70s-sequins-meets-Urban-Outfitters look is pretty much my entire life rolled into one sparkly, sparkly dress (and a matching sparkly cardigan).
It seems, perhaps, that Disco Pony was made for Disco Pony (or at least will be when they start carrying gold leotards).
Now that my rage has subsided and the sequins have won me over, I need to figure out how to get my hands on some Disco Pony. Think they'll give me a free dress if I tell them Disco Pony is my derby name?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Lessons in Roller Skating
And your wristguards.
And your...shoulder pads?
Especially when skating outside.
And trust me, it looks worse in real life, and feels worse than it looks.
IN MY DEFENSE:
I thought I had my pads in my car. I swear I thought I did. So when I got to the park with no pads, I thought to myself, "crap. Well, I'll just go around a couple times and be really careful."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Meet Bone Jr.
This is Bone Jr. (and me, standing all sweaty and streaky and pasty next to her) after our first public scrimmage with the Red Rockettes:
She is my new favorite. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO! But really, she's on the Red Rockettes with me, and I am so glad she is. I love her more and more every week. Especially this week when she showed up with a surprise for me (more on that later).
First of all, she can totally hit me all over the track and leave me giggling, thinking to myself, "I just got boned." Her number is 36DD, and she loves unicorns as much as I do (it's destiny, I know). This one time she hauled me to Piper Down after practice, bought me delicious food, and made me laugh until I was crying.
Speaking of laughing and crying, she writes an incredible blog that has frequently made me laugh and cry (mostly from laughter). This post in particular did both.
She made me Disco Pony arm bands (oh, by the way, Dread Riding Hood is no longer; I'm Disco Pony now!) which are one of my most prized possessions. I have worn them to nearly every practice and you bet your boogety that I wear them disco skating on a regular basis.
The best part (well, after the sparkles) is that she sewed felt into the inside of the seam so it wouldn't scratch me. She's also been crocheting arm bands for other girls on the league. How is that not the best thing you've ever heard?
As if the armbands weren't enough, she nearly (and by nearly, I mean just when she wasn't looking) brought me to tears at our last practice by showing up, IN AN ARM SLING, with one of the sweetest (meaning both 'aw, she's a totally sweetheart,' and 'this stuff is totally sweet') gifts I've ever received.
And why was she giving me gifts? Just because (and not to buy my gay love, apparently). That's how awesome she is.
There are a lot of amazing girls on the Red Rockettes (every single one of them!). I love skating with each and every one , and I am so glad I found the Red Rockettes. We're like no other league out there. We have a place for everyone (which includes, thankfully, a place for me), and we do crazy stuff like hula hoop at practice and tape crazy shite to our helmets in celebration of the royal wedding (and you all know how I feel about the royal wedding).
That being said, thanks so much for the incredible gifts, Bone, and get better soon so I can knock you down on the track!
She is my new favorite. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO! But really, she's on the Red Rockettes with me, and I am so glad she is. I love her more and more every week. Especially this week when she showed up with a surprise for me (more on that later).
First of all, she can totally hit me all over the track and leave me giggling, thinking to myself, "I just got boned." Her number is 36DD, and she loves unicorns as much as I do (it's destiny, I know). This one time she hauled me to Piper Down after practice, bought me delicious food, and made me laugh until I was crying.
Speaking of laughing and crying, she writes an incredible blog that has frequently made me laugh and cry (mostly from laughter). This post in particular did both.
She made me Disco Pony arm bands (oh, by the way, Dread Riding Hood is no longer; I'm Disco Pony now!) which are one of my most prized possessions. I have worn them to nearly every practice and you bet your boogety that I wear them disco skating on a regular basis.
 |
| This is not my arm. I stole this pic from Bone's FB page, bc I didn't have any good pics of them on me yet. |
As if the armbands weren't enough, she nearly (and by nearly, I mean just when she wasn't looking) brought me to tears at our last practice by showing up, IN AN ARM SLING, with one of the sweetest (meaning both 'aw, she's a totally sweetheart,' and 'this stuff is totally sweet') gifts I've ever received.
 |
| Do you like the way the unicorns turn into giant smears as they get stretched over my not exactly small calves? |
 |
| This is my excited face, I swear! |
There are a lot of amazing girls on the Red Rockettes (every single one of them!). I love skating with each and every one , and I am so glad I found the Red Rockettes. We're like no other league out there. We have a place for everyone (which includes, thankfully, a place for me), and we do crazy stuff like hula hoop at practice and tape crazy shite to our helmets in celebration of the royal wedding (and you all know how I feel about the royal wedding).
That being said, thanks so much for the incredible gifts, Bone, and get better soon so I can knock you down on the track!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
It's 4 a.m. Do you know where your royals are?
So unless you've been in a comma or feigning indifference, you're well aware of the royal wedding happening at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning. Those zany Brits! Having weddings at such inconvenient times for me.
Let's pretend that I've unexpectedly become obsessed with the royal wedding and everything related to it since penning a couple blogs on the matter. Let's also assume that I, in no way, am ashamed of it.
Yes, I am excited for the royal wedding. Yes, I want royal tea bags (teeheeheehee). Yes, I am this close to tattooing the couple on my chompers. And yes, I now know a few terrible, terrible phrases of Britch slang.
Above all, the hype over the royal wedding has opened a treasure trove, nay, a gold mine, nay, an entire universe full of diamond-encrusted unicorns of internet awesomeness. Never has the internet been so full of spinster-making kitsch. Never has the internet been so good, and I dare say, it never will be again.
And so, with us at the very brink of the royal wedding itself, I give you the top 5 royal-related slideshows and other things I've found on the internet this week.
5. Royal look-alikes. I guess i can kind of see the resemblance in that old painting of Queen Victoria. Queen Mary seems to not even resemble herself from one rendering to the next, though. And they seem to be basing comparison on stuff like facial hair and camera angles. Whatever, I still love it.
4. Hats galore. Princess Beatrice is my new hero. I desperately want her butterfly hat, and the matching butterfly dress isn't too bad either.
3. Princes and critters. You're welcome.
2. Who wore it better? Okay, I actually don't have a link for this, despite scouring the internet at length. But I heard about it, and thanks to a trustworthy coworker, I have some of the photos for your sampling. Not only is this pretty much one of the best things ever, ever, ever, but it totally takes me right back to my Jr. High days. William or Harry...Who Wore it Better?
1. N'SYNC
This slideshow singlehandedly made my week, the captions in particular. I like to pretend that's what's actually going on in the picture. "The St. Andrews University alums revisit their college days – and retrace, step for step, their fairy-tale romance – during a return to their alma mater in February." Yes, I'm certain that's exactly what they're doing in this picture.
Similarly, if the captions are completely accurate, I imagine conversation between Kate and William to be something like this:
Kate: "Oh Will, we're so good at clapping together! Something happened on the stage, and we both started clapping! It's like we're made for each other!"
William: "That's because we are, darling. That's because we are."
Let's pretend that I've unexpectedly become obsessed with the royal wedding and everything related to it since penning a couple blogs on the matter. Let's also assume that I, in no way, am ashamed of it.
Yes, I am excited for the royal wedding. Yes, I want royal tea bags (teeheeheehee). Yes, I am this close to tattooing the couple on my chompers. And yes, I now know a few terrible, terrible phrases of Britch slang.
Above all, the hype over the royal wedding has opened a treasure trove, nay, a gold mine, nay, an entire universe full of diamond-encrusted unicorns of internet awesomeness. Never has the internet been so full of spinster-making kitsch. Never has the internet been so good, and I dare say, it never will be again.
And so, with us at the very brink of the royal wedding itself, I give you the top 5 royal-related slideshows and other things I've found on the internet this week.
5. Royal look-alikes. I guess i can kind of see the resemblance in that old painting of Queen Victoria. Queen Mary seems to not even resemble herself from one rendering to the next, though. And they seem to be basing comparison on stuff like facial hair and camera angles. Whatever, I still love it.
4. Hats galore. Princess Beatrice is my new hero. I desperately want her butterfly hat, and the matching butterfly dress isn't too bad either.
3. Princes and critters. You're welcome.
2. Who wore it better? Okay, I actually don't have a link for this, despite scouring the internet at length. But I heard about it, and thanks to a trustworthy coworker, I have some of the photos for your sampling. Not only is this pretty much one of the best things ever, ever, ever, but it totally takes me right back to my Jr. High days. William or Harry...Who Wore it Better?
1. N'SYNC
This slideshow singlehandedly made my week, the captions in particular. I like to pretend that's what's actually going on in the picture. "The St. Andrews University alums revisit their college days – and retrace, step for step, their fairy-tale romance – during a return to their alma mater in February." Yes, I'm certain that's exactly what they're doing in this picture.
Similarly, if the captions are completely accurate, I imagine conversation between Kate and William to be something like this:
Kate: "Oh Will, we're so good at clapping together! Something happened on the stage, and we both started clapping! It's like we're made for each other!"
William: "That's because we are, darling. That's because we are."
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