Monday, July 27, 2009

Do I Really Care? Probably.

I watch the Bachelorette.

It's unfortunate, yes, but I can't help it. It's like when you see something so grotesque and disturbing that everything in you is begging you to turn away and spare your corneas and memory-retaining wrinkles in your brain the image, but no matter how hard you fight yourself, you just can't stop staring.

My relationship with the pseudo-reality tv show established, I bring you the knowledge that tonight is the big finale. Tonight is the night where dresses are required to be floor-length, balconies are required to be cried from, and doomed relationships are required to start their spiral.

Why do I care? I'm not sure. The Jillian-thing:


has already eliminated every single worthwhile guy on the show, and now it's down to the gut-wrenching decision between Mr. Baggy Eyes and Captain Boring (yes, I am very proud of myself for recognizing, and fully utilizing, the fact that "Kyptin" and "Captain" rhyme) who, oh who will it be?

Honestly, I don't care. I don't like either of these guys, and I don't like Jillian. Why then do I watch? Why then do I glue myself to every second of airtime that this trainwreck inhabits?
Because it's on tv, it's suspenseful, and I've watched the whole season thus far, how could I miss the ending?

I never thought I'd say this, but I hope she pulls a last-season-ratings-gimmick and dumps one of these guys:


To bring back one of these:




1 comment:

Heidi said...

I could NOT agree with you more! Michael and Reid were awesome and perfect! What's up with her choosing Mr. Rainbow with all his short green shorts and pink shirts? Messed up Jill.

PS, thanks for your comment. Guys are lame and I'm sick of the way they are constantly making me feel. At least I still have amazing girls in my life to cheer me up! Loves!