Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Chronicles of Dating, Installment #4: Another Two-for-One Deal

Date #1 - The Switcheroo

So this one is going back a few years, and probably illustrates how naive I was when I first started dating.

Anyway, on eve of my 20th birthday, I went on a set-up date for an LDS fraternity date night. It wasn't a blind date, it was just that some guys are too lazy to ask a girl out, so they have someone find them a date for them. Laura and I were, therefore, set up with guys we already knew but who obviously didn't like either of us enough to actually ask us out. Well, at least our respective dates didn't.

Throughout the first half of our evening - meeting at the institute and going to dinner at Fazolli's - Laura's date repeatedly made "jokes" about us switching dates. I should have caught on, but no.

After dinner, we went to someone's house to carve jack-o-lanterns, but didn't get started before Laura realized that she left her purse at the restaurant. This put us in a strange situation, because my date drove and had to take Laura back to Fazolli's to retrieve her purse. After Laura's date disappeared outside for awhile, he came back in and told me they decided to trade dates since my date and his were both gone. I should have been suspicious, considering the previously made remarks about switching dates, but I wasn't.

My new date and I carved a pumpkin together and were watching the beginning of a movie together when Laura and the other guy came back, each wondering why their date was snuggled up for a movie with someone else. Turns out that date switching was never really on the agenda.

Date #2 - Christmas Eve-Eve Vomit

So to complement my previous story of naivety, and to tone down my habit of criticizing my counterparts on these dates, this date story is a bad-on-me.

I seem to have a Christmas curse. This is the second date story recounted on here where I got sick on a date at Christmas. This time it hit me a day earlier - both the date and the flu - on this past Christmas Eve-Eve, when a really rough night followed a pretty awesome date.

The evening started off with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory where I ordered the grilled artichoke appetizer as my meal. Artichokes were one of my favorite foods, until few hours later when I got to have artichokes again.

My date was an old friend, so instead of having the typical and awkward bowling or ice skating after-dinner activity, we just went to his house to watch a movie.

Like usual, I had to get up to pee like 900 times during the movie. On my way back from my third pee trip, crazy hit me. I sat back down and told my date I didn't feel very good suddenly. I layed down for about 30 seconds before I got up and ran back to the bathroom to dry-heave a couple minutes.

"That was so crazy," I said when I got back from wretching over the toilet, "I was totally fine and then it hit me for a minute, and now I'm fine again."

This scenario played itself out a couple more times before I started feeling sick between pee trips too. Scared that I would puke in the car if he took me home, my date did his best to accommodate me and make me comfortable at his house. "If you do throw up," he said, "I have a new toothbrush you can use."

At three in the morning, I had a very lovely time sitting next to the toilet for ten minutes and making myself never want to eat an artichoke ever again. Afterwards, I went and woke up my date and asked if I could use that toothbrush.

I threw up twice more that night before I finally felt well enough to go home at like 7 in the morning, where I just went back to bed for a few hours, threw up a couple more times, and waited for my mom to come pick me up and take me to her house.

I was still sick for Christmas morning the next day. Slightly delirious, I thanked my mom for the new lime green lunch box she gave me (which was really a lime green scripture case) and cried for a half an hour while my family opened their presents after my brother shot me in the back with a rubber band and I broke an ornament trying to throw a water bottle at his head.

Anyway, yep, I totally threw up on a first date.

2 comments:

Crystal Bo Bistol said...

WOW! That trading date thing--bizarre. Did you and the traded date ever go out again? Updates please! Also, I love the links...especially the lazy dog. On date #2, I CAN'T believe you had to be that sick at someone else's house. That's the worst thing in the world. Did he call you back or was he terrified? Updates, again, please!

Andrea said...

Ha ha! Crystal, I love you!
Yeah, I did go out with the date switcher once more time. I was young and stupid and should have known better, but I didn't.
And with date #2, the sweet boy was actually so worried about me and felt super bad (he thought maybe I got sick from the restaurant he took me to, but I didn't). He actually asked me out quite a few more times. I was surprised; I would have been terrified.