A dream interpretor on the radio, who I listen to with interest every week, despite some of her far-fetched interpretations (including an explanation of "you have to give your new business your best shot" to a woman's dream involving her shooting people on the street), recommends keeping a dream journal to follow common themes and perhaps gain insight into your effed-up subconscious.
And so here it is, the start of my weird-a dream journal:
A few nights ago, I had to fight the demons that were in the shower in my parents' basement. I could see them dimly through the frosted glass door, and stood questioning weather or not the sword and shield I had in hand would be enough to defend me from, and defeat, the demons.
Cut to a new scene inside Caesar's Palace where I was enjoying the company of my demon-fighting team: Nicholas Cage, Charlie from Lost, and Michael from Arrested Development. We had won the challenge of both defeating the demons and doing so better than the other team who we were apparently competing with. Our prize? A free dinner at Caesar's Palace.
That's right! Free dinner at Caesar's Palace! Read it and weep, suckas!
I was completely enjoying my neverending pasta, yet Nicholas Cage, in his full Nicholas Cage-ness, was monotoneously furious that he was not being served bbq asparagus pasta, for which Caesar's Palace was apparently famous, but was not being served that day.
Finally appeased, Nicholas Cage awaited his bbq asparagus pasta when the waitress came with our bill and complementary heroin pills. Charlie from Lost was, as you can imagine, particularly pleased by the after-dinner confection, and broke his in half for easier snorting.
Warning: Don't try to snort after-dinner heroin pills at Caesar's Palace! They are for oral consumption only!
Disgusted by our horrific manners, the waitress made sure that we were escorted from the palace.
Outside, we met our counterparts, aka. the team that lost the demon battle competition, who were fulfilling their punishment of painting Caesar's Palace
: George Sr. from Arrested Development, Teller from Penn and Teller, and someone else that I can't remember, who were about to be arrested for using too much paint. Oh, and they were all drunk, because the paint was full of scotch - which coincidentally made George Sr. act a lot more like his twin brother, Oscar.